Last 8 hours in America

First I'd like to say that I actually am gonna write a post about what I was doing these last days, but since these have been CRAZY and currently it is 4am, then I think this post is most likely to be uploaded whenever I am already back in Estonia.

So...I still can't believe that it is so close to be over. 

--> It's not possibly possible that it's possible. <--

I am going to say what we all say: They have to say goodbye to me. I have to say goodbye to my home, family, friends, places, culture, habits, everything! This year has been amazing even though there were many times when I was pretty sure I had made a mistake and should've never gone on an exchange. But that's how all of us feel. Now, looking back to my year I ask myself all the time 'was it a dream?' it seems so unreal. I am telling you guys, I couldn't ask for a better year! 

So what did this year teach me? 

To me it is stupid to say I learned who I am during my exchange. I feel like most of us just say that because they’ve heard other students say it and it seems like a right and smart thing to say. Which I did too, before coming on an exchange I always wrote in every single application that during my exchange year I wanna figure out who I am, etc. Now my opinion is that it is actually impossible. How could you learn who you are at the age of what, 16? 17? We are kids, how are we supposed to figure out who we are with only 10 months abroad? That's just a big no. 
Anyway, what I learned was who I don’t wanna be and what I have to do to be the person I wanna become. During my exchange I saw thousands of different people. Different attitudes, different looks, different ways of living. And through that I realized what I want from life and who I am gonna be maybe someday, but right now I am just another kid trying to do right things and be the best I can. 
You know, before coming here I had described myself and my life in many letters. But when I got here it was like a complete blank sheet and a new life. I could be anything I possibly wanna be. So if I am honest maybe only for five minutes was I exactly the same person described in these letters, because I wanted to try to be the person I thought I want to be. TBH I was a different person every week but it didn’t work out. What I learned about myself was that I never wanna be anyone else but the person I am. The person who was described in these letters. I know my host family picked me based on my profile and the letter I wrote but the truth is that girl never completely arrived. That teenager is still in Estonia, waiting for me to go back. And I kind a miss this kid. 
I know people say this person never returns, but I know that I am gonna be this person again. Because this is who I am. I think during my year I did’t learn that much of who I am but I learnt who I am not. So in a day when I arrive back to Estonia, I am gonna be that same girl, except with a lot more knowledge, super experiences and epic memories for life!

I couldn't thank everybody enough who made that year possible for me. I am truly blessed! :) 

Love you America, see you soon Buddy! 
Xoxo, I'll be back. <3

DC made it and I think it's AWESOME!