Took me 3 months.
Honestly, I haven't had much time to get all deep in my emotions and miss America a whole lot, but there are things I wanna talk about.
I remember my first thoughts when I got back:
'I am lil' bit confused now, was that year in America a dream, or is being back home a dream?'
I remember last night in America. Me and Adriana were up all night on June 26th, watching Camp Rock and dancing to these songs, absolutely okay. At about 2am I started getting ready to leave: took a shower, gathered all my things and closed my carry-on luggage. We woke my host mom up at 4am and it was my last half an hour. Before we left I took a last look at my room, hugged the dogs, put the gift on the table and that was it: we were in the car on our way to the airport. We did stop at whataburger tho and got some reaaaaly early breakfast + coffee. Ever since we got to the airport, everything happened so fast: the security, first flight, second flight and suddenly I was about to step off the plane in Tallinn. Until the very last moment I was so sure I am not gonna cry when I leave, but when the plane took off from Dallas, I just burst into tears telling myself I wanna go back home to Keller. In Chicago I saw all the other exchange students who flew back to Europe that day. There were Danish and Estonian people + Ben from Hungary who I met at the last orientation, it was great to see him again. Also it was weird to see Hanna, Carmen and all the other Estonians again, we didn't speak even a word in Estonian until we walked out of the gates in Estonia. Hanna's host brother came to Estonia with us so he kept our mood up.
Without lying, walking out of the gates in Estonia was one of the scariest moments in my life. Whenever we got our luggage and knew that everybody is waiting behind these wooden doors, it didn't seem real. There was a lot of hugging and laughing when I saw my parents, boyfriend, Rita and Britta&her boyfriend who had all come to welcome me. Fun fact: my mom seriously didn't recognize me haha.
After hugging my mom&dad, my boyfriend was behind me and as soon as I got to hug him again, I knew I was home.
It took me long time to understand I am actually back and living here now. Summer went by faster than I would have ever imagined and we did a lot. School is fine, although there really was a little shocking moment when I realised I am going to be here another 2 years before I graduate and I have new classmates. I think at times I don't even understand myself how much I talk about or compare my American life to my life here. My English teacher is from the U.S so his class is the one where I feel reaaaally comfortable. But school here is completely different and as the time goes by I see how differently people do things here.
Couple of days ago I texted my host mom FIRST time since I've been back. I was scared I will get homesick after texting her, which I did...But it was so good to hear from them.
I guess how it feels to be back is weird. I am not the same person in Estonia as I was in America. Adapting to the culture when you get back home takes time. Actually I didn't even understand that I have to adapt or anything because I mean, it's home and I know how things work here, right? But still, every day I see how different everything is. I still think in English most of the time, and just yesterday I had a dream how I was about to fly back to the U.S haha.
And another fun fact: every time I call Liz, we talk about 1,5 hours and after ending the call it still feels like we didn't have enough time to talk haha.
I miss America, but I am really glad to be back! :)
Without lying, walking out of the gates in Estonia was one of the scariest moments in my life. Whenever we got our luggage and knew that everybody is waiting behind these wooden doors, it didn't seem real. There was a lot of hugging and laughing when I saw my parents, boyfriend, Rita and Britta&her boyfriend who had all come to welcome me. Fun fact: my mom seriously didn't recognize me haha.
After hugging my mom&dad, my boyfriend was behind me and as soon as I got to hug him again, I knew I was home.
It took me long time to understand I am actually back and living here now. Summer went by faster than I would have ever imagined and we did a lot. School is fine, although there really was a little shocking moment when I realised I am going to be here another 2 years before I graduate and I have new classmates. I think at times I don't even understand myself how much I talk about or compare my American life to my life here. My English teacher is from the U.S so his class is the one where I feel reaaaally comfortable. But school here is completely different and as the time goes by I see how differently people do things here.
Couple of days ago I texted my host mom FIRST time since I've been back. I was scared I will get homesick after texting her, which I did...But it was so good to hear from them.
I guess how it feels to be back is weird. I am not the same person in Estonia as I was in America. Adapting to the culture when you get back home takes time. Actually I didn't even understand that I have to adapt or anything because I mean, it's home and I know how things work here, right? But still, every day I see how different everything is. I still think in English most of the time, and just yesterday I had a dream how I was about to fly back to the U.S haha.
And another fun fact: every time I call Liz, we talk about 1,5 hours and after ending the call it still feels like we didn't have enough time to talk haha.
I miss America, but I am really glad to be back! :)
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Welcome home <3 |
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